This is the song I dedicate to our relationship and love story:
Crazy? Maybe! A plain romantic! A bit spontaneous? Surely! Here I celebrate our union by sharing parts of a letter to my husband that was written so many years before meeting him as well as some songs that capture what we share! In short, it’s a dedication to our growing bond and growing romance as we build it chapter by chapter! I am nervous as this is sharing something I kept with me and to myself for years before actually sharing it with Shiva. I believed that there was someone for me to share my life with and I asked God as I continually do, to keep him safe. It’s a literal case of loving someone before meeting him. My relationship with him and what we share is proof that it was meant for him.
Date: 11 October, 2002
How are you? I hope that you’re fine, happy and in the absolute best of health. Look at the date on this thing will you? Anyway I shouldn’t be bothered because I imagine that by now you’ve grown accustomed to my occasional spark of spontaneity, crazy, sheer fun and need to be out of the ordinary and anticipated. If you haven’t you’re probably wondering what on earth I’m talking about. I guarantee you there was a spontaneous flare to Rachael Ann Thomas. Hence the reason you’re reading this now and hence the reason it is being written so long before it has any possible chance of being delivered. Truth be told, I’m not really sure but it feels like the right thing to do because to me, this is so partly, a moment of reflection, in terms of where I’ve come from and where I am as well as my mind set.
I’m confident of where I am as an individual, where we are and where we may be in years to come. It’s symbolic of my faith, determination and my courage to persevere regardless of what troubled waters, or even brewing storms may lie ahead. I’m not going to be a “Runaway Bride” or chicken out when the going gets tough. Hey I may not need to let you know this because you probably know it already! Anyway, on with the letter right?
That’s right, I was just getting into letting you know that by the time you read this I’m confident in who I am as an individual, my place in society, my role in your life and who we are as a pair. This may sound totally crazy, but hey, I’m only just beginning. For as long as I’ve remembered, I’ve been meeting people and learning from them and about them. Added to that I conjured up a picture of what my life would be like in years to come. That picture continued changing as I grew older and I think I can owe all of that to a combination of maturity, reality and circumstances in terms of my health which has played a dominant role in my life and my experiences I’ve had as well as the challenges. They have been numerous but one thing which has been apparent is that I don’t give up easily. This letter is a testimony to that because though I’ve had quite my share of the ‘bad and ugly’ or felt I hit rock bottom a part of me knew someday things would get better.
My ‘Dreamguy’ if I can call him that has always been a realistic figure and not some Prince Charming that comes out of Cinderella and goes in search of a fair maiden who has lost her glass slipper or a Prince who wakes Sleeping Beauty up. Of course, I can choose to borrow the phrase “Prince Charming” because this is what I see my Dream Guy as being. That is how I see him and this is what he is to me in every sense of the word. Or better yet, let me rephrase that, I can borrow “Prince Charming” to describe you because of the way I see you and because of what having you in my life means. Let me see- he ought to be someone who:
- respects me
- trusts me
- supports me
- listens to me
- someone that I can talk to freely and comfortably and in addition to this,
- he ought to be able to make me laugh
- make me happy
- make me feel safe and secure
- be generally wonderful and pleasant to be around
- believe in me
- be honest to me
- comfort me when I need to be comforted
- tell me the truth even if I don’t want to hear it
- accept the challenges my health has imposed on me
- a shoulder that I can lean on.
Even though I would feel rather privileged to find all of these in my dreamguy my greatest joy would be in being able to do the same for him regardless of what eventuality may present itself. The fact that you are reading this is proof that you exist and I found you.
In short my “Dreamguy” is someone who can be at my side in spite of the circumstances and can rest assured I will readily do the same for him. That may be easier said than done for some but even if you underestimate or doubt me, time will tell. Obstacles and challenges are inevitable but we will deal with them as they come.
Imagine loving someone before you meet them, loving them all the more when you actually meet and loving them more with each passing day. I’m glad we found each other and you prove me right. I’m not giving up on you and I never will. I’m grateful to have you in my life and I’m excited about the stage that we are in our relationship when you read this. As we write the pages of this new chapter of our lives, I am ready and willing to accept all that is yet to come, as I am sure you are. Let’s make the most of it and let us continue to make memories that will stay in our hearts and the hearts of our loved ones for years to come.
I can see you, I can hear you, I can feel you and enjoy being with you because of the blessings showered on me from above. ¡Yo te quiero! ¡Te amo y hasta luego!
–All my love, hugs and kisses…. With all my heart,
Rachael
Celebrating Existence 