No, I’m not talking about the medical condition.
I’m talking about the kind of “foot-in-mouth disease” that every Trinidadian knows—the moment when you say something with the best intentions, only to realize it wasn’t received the way you meant it. Before you know it, you’re wishing you could grab those words back.
We’ve all had those moments.
Sometimes it’s an innocent joke.
Sometimes it’s an honest opinion.
Sometimes it’s advice given from a place of care.
Sometimes it’s simply making conversation.
Yet somehow, what we intended and what the other person heard are two completely different things.
Life has taught me that good intentions don’t always guarantee good interpretations.
You can genuinely want to help, and someone thinks you’re interfering.
You can offer encouragement, and it’s taken as criticism.
You can ask a question out of concern, and it’s seen as being too inquisitive.
You can speak with a sincere heart, and your motives are questioned.
The reality is that once words leave our mouths, they no longer belong to us. They belong to the person receiving them, and everyone hears through the filter of their own experiences, beliefs, emotions, and circumstances.
As Trinidadians, we laugh and say, “Yuh put yuh foot in yuh mouth.”
But the older I get, the more I realize that the cure isn’t becoming afraid to speak.
It’s becoming wiser about when to speak, what to say, and perhaps most importantly… who to say it to.
Not everyone deserves access to your thoughts.
Not everyone understands your heart.
Not everyone is listening to understand. Some are listening to respond. Others are listening to judge. And some have already decided what they believe before you’ve even finished speaking.
That doesn’t make them bad people.
It simply means we must learn discernment.
I’ve learned that not every conversation requires my opinion.
Not every misunderstanding requires an explanation.
Not every accusation deserves a defence.
Not every silence needs to be filled.
There comes a point where you realize that protecting your peace is more important than proving your point.
So these days, my approach is much simpler.
I smile.
I greet people warmly.
I wish them well.
I celebrate their successes.
I pray that life treats them kindly.
Then I quietly continue on my way.
I’ve discovered that there is tremendous freedom in staying to yourself—not because you’ve become unfriendly, but because you’ve become selective with your energy. You begin to value peace over unnecessary conversations and quiet confidence over constant explanations.
The people who truly know you don’t need endless explanations to understand your heart.
And those who have already chosen to misunderstand you may never be convinced, no matter how carefully you explain yourself.
That isn’t something to become bitter about.
It’s simply something to accept.
One of the greatest forms of wisdom is knowing where your words will be appreciated and where your silence will serve you better.
Silence isn’t weakness.
Silence isn’t defeat.
Silence is often protection.
It protects your peace of mind.
It protects your relationships from needless conflict.
It protects your energy from being drained by conversations that lead nowhere.
And sometimes, it even protects your reputation better than any explanation ever could.
Before I speak now, I often ask myself:
- Is it true?
- Is it necessary?
- Is it kind?
- Is this the right person?
- Is this the right time?
If the answer isn’t clear, I choose silence.
Because peace is precious.
Not every battle is yours to fight.
Not every opinion needs correcting.
Not every misunderstanding needs fixing.
Sometimes, the safest place for your words is within your own heart.
And if I do happen to put my foot in my mouth?
I’ll acknowledge it.
I’ll apologise if I’ve caused hurt.
I’ll learn from it.
Then I’ll move forward with a little more wisdom than before.
Perhaps the real cure for foot-in-mouth disease isn’t finding better words.
Perhaps it’s learning that silence has a voice of its own.
A smile can say enough.
A kind heart doesn’t always need to be explained.
A quiet life is often a peaceful life.
So smile.
Wish others well.
Stay humble.
Stay kind.
Stay true to yourself.
And when necessary, stay silent.
Because sometimes, protecting your peace of mind is the wisest conversation you’ll never have.
Celebrating Existence 